This is no poetry

For if this was poetry,

My words would touch your heart

And your life would never be the same

But it wont,

So, This Is No Poetry

– sGabbyGee

Welcome to my blog! My little place to write down everything that will come up in my head. Choose the red pill (or blue, it’s up to you!) and take a jump down the rabbithole!

Functional Woman

You see
Women always have had a purpose
While men just walk the earth with their sticks unpurposely hanging
We walk around and carry, being functional as we are, a whole just for ‘HIM” to stick his stick in
Just so he could enter our kingdom
And break our walls of holiness
And leave nothing behind but just one big mess

And we
As the women who always have had purpose
We get left to clean up the mess by ourselves
And out of that mess
Like we do with every mess

We create a life

– Gabriëlle Wouter

6. Rayme

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We used to do it twice, maybe three times a day
We always discussed on stopping but we both liked it this way
You couldn’t resist me
I couldn’t resist you
Sucker for neck kisses
You liked my sucking too

The dry grinding
Your fingers could play
A whole orchestra
The laughing and touching
You never did it this way

After the deed
Our fingers would meet
And we would spoon
Laughing and talking and eating waffles
Barely leaving the room

Let’s have our last Juke Jam
Then once again do grown folk things that grown folks do when they grown and their dating.

–  Gabriëlle Wouter

5. House of Galatians

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Since I was lost
And needed a place to stay
I decided that you were going to be my home
At first sight you looked like a dream house
A front door that was always open
Big beautiful brown windows
A strong foundation
You seemed warm and cozy on the inside

But Lord if I only knew
That your front door was open for everyone to enter
Just to get lost
In a dark hallway
With closed doors

Those beautiful windows were dusty on the inside
So it wasn’t possible for you to see
All the beauty and love
That the world has to offer
All you know is what’s on the inside

That strong foundation
Had been abandoned for years
No one made the effort to maintain it
Let alone nourish what is left
Like termites they’ve eaten you alive
There is almost nothing left of you

Like a heater
You broke down
And turned cold on me
Looking at you now gives me chills
Touching you for too long makes me go numb

Baby I was lost
And tried to make a home out of you
My spiritual soul was hungry
But you couldn’t give me food for thoughts
So I had to burn you down for all that you were
And all that you is
And whenever you burn something down, fertile soil will return
So on that soil I cultivated fruits
For Galatians 5:22-23 says:
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such thing there is no law.”

–  Gabriëlle Wouter

4. Rayminé

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Baby, spring has begun
Take me to art expositions
I’ll wear sundresses and sandals
Sippin’ pineapple juice and white wine

I don’t want sweaty long club nights
But trips to the park
Me reading books
You taking pictures

Warm evenings on the balcony
Me drinking my whiskey with Aminé playing on the background
You’re not interested in that strong dark
All you want is to taste the sweetness of my lips

We don’t want to hear about what the future holds
Who stresses about the day when you can have good head in the morning
Bad things never tasted better
Even raw cookie dough ain’t got nothing on this shit

Although I don’t want to lose you
All I can think about is chocking you with my thick thighs
Shut up
Shut up
Inhale and then repeat

Bad chick
Fine as phuck
Thick as hell
OMG! I’m your babe
Always are
Baby stop!
Nibbling on my ear
Can’t hear the preacher warning me
For the sinner that’s with me

Fuck!

–  Gabriëlle Wouter

3. Pointless

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Baby exhale that
Last piece of poison you tasted
As soon as our tongues got strangled
In a cold heated love war

Outsiders would see us as a new couple
Reminding them of what puppy love was like

But what they can’t see is that we aren’t some horny young adults
We’re at war
Fighting desperately to win each other over one more time
Grabbing each other tighter
Pressing our tongues deeper and deeper inside each other
This was what you liked, remember?

But it’s just a waste of time
Wasted energy, making the emotions even worse

Cause all you can taste in my mouth is the poison I have from being bitter
And all I can taste in your mouth is her

– Gabriëlle Wouter

2. Delivery

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Lord knows I try
To stand still and not pass by
And end this holy war I’m in
Forgive me Heavenly Father for I have sinned

Play that music
Hit me with that ghetto gospel
I’ve bettered my life
Still have nightmares about only God knows

Washed myself in the blood of the lamb
Making sure no one can harm me
You cut me open and I proudly bled for you
I’m already the biggest hypocrite of 2016, you see?

King Kendrick said it right:
We gon’ be allright
With or without you by my side
Even though my father metaphorically died
And my Heavenly Father stood by my side while I cried

I’m no longer afraid of the night
Cause within me I carry His light.

– Gabriëlle Wouter

1. 2016 (intro)

11.40
I should go to sleep
My eyes are burning
My thoughts are deep

I wanted to eat
Asked for food for thoughts
But now I complain about how much is on my plate
Got more then enough

How can one feel so blessed?
Yet so depressed

It’s that thing that makes my circle oval
My vision is blurry, can’t get a straight angle
It’s that one thing missing
Making my square a triangle

New year, new me?
We’ll see
To become a new me, I first have to know who I be
Not how others experience me
Just my vision of me

Let me figure out who I am meant to be
So I can finally say
2016: new year, new me

12:52

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This poem is for the person who jumped in front of my train yesterday. May God took you under his wing. Rest in peace dear soul ❤

Can you hear me?
I love you
Okay?

He couldn’t hear it
She holds him a little bit tighter
He felt the loneliness eating him alive
It didn’t make him feel cold anymore
The burning was unbearable

He was the reason she stood up with a smile every morning
What did she do to deserve him?
She was anxious at first, but completely at peace now

He wasn’t alone either
Fighting his own demons everyday
He was tired
So tired

He lived in this grey fog,
Sometimes black
He hadn’t seen sunlight in a while
She was the sun
Lighting everyone up with her smile
That spark in her eye made you feel at home

They’ll always be together
She knows that for sure
She holds his hand
It’s been a while since someone held him
Fuck, it’s been a while since anyone checked on him
Asked him how his day was

She’s lost
She followed so many tracks in his hair
She can’t keep up with them
He’s lost too
What’s the point?
Why should he?

He pulls her a little bit closer
A kiss on the lips
His finger rubbing on her clitoris
He’s becoming more and more distant
He’s just so tired
His eyes can’t stay open that long anymore

The rubbing goed faster
Her climax’s reaching
She takes a deep breath
The noise is getting louder
He can’t take it anymore
Finally, he took his last breath

–    Gabriëlle Wouter

Safe love

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May I?
For once
Just for once
May I for once be vulnerable?

Not be this strong and thick wall
Society forced me to build
Not have my head high
And my back straightened

Having a skin like rubber
Letting all the negativity bounce back
Not allowing it to get to me

Sticks and stones may break my bones…

Who are we kidding?

My heart is broken
My soul is bruised
My trust has a malfunction
My smile even, has cracks in it

I’m strong
I’ve showed the world how strong I am
But at what cost?

My eyes can not look another in the eyes
My touch will never be soft and gentle
The words ‘I love you’ will never be absorbed again

I can not accept another ‘I love you’
I can not accept another ‘I love you’
I can not accept another ‘I Love you’

I can not

I will not

I do not want…

……

I want love

Pure love
True love
Honest love
Safe love

For once
Just once
May I?
Have safe love?

Click!

I will
Wait for you
God

I will
Patiently sit back
And listen
To whatever it is that you are telling me

You see
I always thought I didn’t need you
I’ll know when I find the right one
When I hear that click

But you see
My problem is
I always hear a click
And it doesn’t matter what type of click
A click of two hearts, a click of a gun, a click of the signs that scream RUN!

You see
A click is a click

Everybody told me about that click
But nobody told me about the danger of the different type of clicks

He doesn’t believe in God
He doesn’t have a job
He has three kids
My mom hates him
But y’all don’t understand
We have a click

And so it doesn’t matter if he cheats on me
Or ignores my calls
Or don’t tell his friends about me
We’ll figure it out
We’ll be fine
Cause we got that click

But Lord I beg you
I don’t ever want to hear the sound of a click again
I want you to work on me
Mold me
Heal me

Search me, God, and know my heart;
Test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting

So that one day when I have my man
I can look him in his eyes
While I go on my knees
Open my mouth
And pray

 So that not only he’ll go down on me
But go down for me
To ask you heavenly father
To guide us
Love us
Protect us

For that Lord
I’ll wait
Stand by me while I pray
In Jesus name. Amen

– Gabriëlle Wouter